I have also always wanted one of those glass gear knobs with a scorpion in it,...– David Thorne of 27b/6, driving someone mental yet again.
not-ean: “And now it’s happened. I like the fact that it was quick. Massive heart attacks that you don’t recover from are quick. You don’t know what hit you. That’s probably the kindest death for Michael.” — Jane Fonda boasts on how she outlived Michael Jackson Taken out of context, this sounds pretty cunty. She was actually remembering him fondly, if a little quizzically.
One former conquest raved that sleeping with Jeff Goldblum was like being caught...– Jeff Goldblum, reciting his own eulogy on The Colbert Report (via soupsoup) (via not-ean) This is why Jeff Goldblum is one of my favorite people of all time.
Frequently taut but ultimately unsatisfying.– Movie critic Ray Greene, describing either Public Enemies or some guy’s weiner
America to Michael Bay: 'WE FUCKING LOVE YOUR... →
Bad news, guys. The kitten we’d been taking care of (and fawning over, and photographing like crazy) this weekend passed away sometime in the night. We think he (also we discovered yesterday that she was a he) may have suffered internal injuries when he was discarded on the side of the road by whoever abandoned him. Nevertheless, it came as a shock. He seemed to be in decent health for the...
menstrom: frictionlesssuperfeet: ...
danieleric: So my girlfriend and I broke up last night (she couldn’t handle being in a relationship), so I’m going to take a little break from the whole internet thing for a while. I’ll be back in a little bit. DONT GO, DEL! LONELINESS IS WHAT THE INTERNET WAS MADE FOR!
Leave Me Alone It seems quaint upon rewatching, but as a kid this video blew my mind. Using innovative stop-motion visuals (similar to the clip for Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer”), Michael poked fun at his own eccentric behavior and the tabloids that were obsessed with it. The Way You Make Me Feel Michael never adhered to any sort of time limit for videos. Everything was a...
Pour out some Jesus Juice for the King of Pop
(Unless you’re an adolescent boy, in which case you should take a sip. He would’ve wanted it that way.) Edit: I joke because I am sad.
OMFG MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD →
frictionlesssuperfeet: At least we know he’ll return as a zombie.
Jean-Claude Van Damme doesn’t make normal movies — he kicks them until his leg...– Seanbaby
How will you die?
frictionlesssuperfeet: I made a new Facebook quiz today because I’m still really good at not doing anything useful. I drew all the pictures myself. I like them, and I doubt anyone will take the quiz, so I’m posting them here so you can see them anyway. The quiz is called “How Will You Die?” Accidentally Shot While Someone Tries to Murder Your Evil Twin Insides Eaten by Velociraptor...
2010 Oscars to have 10 Best Picture nominees →
kevinslane: This is huge news. HUGE! Could this mean the Academy will finally start considering comedies and Pixar films for best picture!? Oh, it is good to joke.
streeter: Ringo WantsTo Sing More Here’s that Beatles song I wrote a while back. Let me begin by saying two things: I tease out of love and I am aware that “Yellow Submarine” came before “Octopus’ Garden.” My friend Scott Taylor plays Ringo and I think he did a great job. I also think Vinnie is amazing as Paul. Digg it? Yellow Submarine animation FTW. Mustache glue FTL.
Every bystander is beautiful. Every car is souped up, turbo charged and...– Massawyrm of Ain’t it Cool News, describing every Michael Bay movie ever made in three sentences (taken from his verbal crucifixion of Transformers 2).
This just in: Jimmy Fallon can be fucking hilarious. There was an even better one on the show tonight. I’ll post it tomorrow.
Hey Internet, look how bad this guy messed up this...
Pretty bad, right? This happened right outside work this morning. It took out our power for the entire day because a transformer exploded. Shia LeBeouf still hasn’t stopped crying.
Why I'm probably going to see '2012,' even though...
Griping about the directorial excesses of Michael Bay is one of the Internet’s favorite pastimes, yet Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow) seems to go largely unscathed — despite having spent his entire career re-filming the same movie, Things Destroying Buildings Destroying People. I called myself a fan of his back when Snake Plissken made that androgynous...
I like writing about other people’s drama. I don’t want drama in my...– a weeping Perez Hilton, incredulous as to what he did to deserve his alleged beating
On the success (or not) of our latest article:
Me: Streeter thought it did well.
Katie: Streeter has a pretty stupid definition of "did well."
Me: We've also been pretty spoiled by that string of CollegeHumor Classics.
Me: 360 likes is not a bad take.
Katie: I don't accept less than my best, though.
Me: It'll end up around 400 eventually.
Katie: Anything less than 500 is homo.
He knows what's up.
Kelly Kapowski: Zack, what do you think is the most important part of a marriage?
Zack Morris: That's easy *wiggles eyebrows* — KISSING!
BTW, Blogger Beware is motherfucking BACK, you... →
After suffering a Dave Chappelle-level breakdown (as speculated by me) and abandoning the Internets completely for half a goddamn motherfucking year, you lazy asshole, Troy Steele has finally returned to (occasionally) mock Goosebumps books.
Most of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were greet-eaters.