February 2011
51 posts
January 2011
56 posts
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I've got someenews
Hey followers,
There’s been something I’ve been dying to brag about tell you guys, but I didn’t want to jinx it until the paperwork was done.
Amid the inexplicable resurgence of “An Honest Facebook Political Argument” (aka the 9-month-old article that holy shit will just not stop giving) earlier this week, the article happened to turn up on someecards. Turns out it...
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It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom;...
– Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (via boringoldraphael)
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Oprah now has a half-sister, that’s a big story… Oprah says that...
– Conan O’Brien, doing maybe the first anti-joke I’ve ever heard in a late-night monologue — and a pretty fantastic one, at that.
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thedailywhat:
Morning Links:
An Honest Facebook Political Argument. (h/t.)
Haha weird, this goes to a CollegeHumor article I wrote nine months ago.
Which means, if you conceived a child on the day it was published, STOP CHECKING TUMBLR AND GO TO THE HOSPITAL YOU WEIRDO.
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Marc Maron was Very Funny™ on last night’s Conan. (Try not to let your brain seize up if it begins with a George Lopez ad.)
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Cute Cosby reference on Community tonight
Jeff: Nice sweater.
Andre (Malcolm Jamal-Warner): My dad gave it to me.
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I don’t think I went far enough [last year]. Obviously not, because they...
– Ricky Gervais, pre-last night.
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Not that anyone cares (they don't), but the Golden... →
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but the Golden Globes are a sham, a put-on, a swindle, see? And I don’t mean that in the way every award show is a lie — I mean that what won Best Picture at this fucking thing last night literally matters less than who wins Shiniest Vampire at The MTV Movie Awards.
Take it away, LA Times article from 2008 that I may or may not have also...
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I don't want to tell you how to do things,...
playing the night’s last winner off the stage, even when your stupid circle-jerk is finishing on time?
Probably shouldn’t.
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Joseph Gordon-Levitt talks out of the back of his...
Stop talking out of the back of your throat.
Robert DeNiro, stand-up comedian
Where was this sense of humor when he was hosting SNL? Or doing any interview, ever?
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Dear Aaron Rodgers
Eat a million dicks and break every bone in your body.
Sincerely,
Atlanta
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I'm glad Michael Douglas is OK.
Now his family can be honest with him about what a piece of shit Wall Street 2 was.
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“At one point they cut to Jamie and OF COURSE that girl can’t even just cook a piece of fish. She’s all thumbs. Her fingers are thumbs, her head is a thumb.”
Gabe. Top Chef. Do it.
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“Geez, Michelle Rodriguez is in ANOTHER romantic comedy?” said someone in an alternate universe.
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It's 2011.
Can we get The Price is Right a less penis-y microphone?
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collegehumor:
Dorkly Bits: Mortal Kombat Friendship. The greatest thing one friend can do for another is not murder him.
Hey internet — I wrote this! It’s my first video script of any kind, so be… kind?
Special thanks to Murph for not hating the idea.
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Update on the comedy show tickets
I won.
Thanks, dudes. You are most excellent.
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And now, an imaginary conversation with Carson...
Me: Do you have any possible justification for airing reruns of your terrible show?
Carson Daly: Do you have any possible justification for knowing this is a rerun?
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Gabe is finally back this week and so are his Top... →
Click click click. Scroll scroll scroll. Read read read.
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Hey guys, want to help Katie and I see Andy...
Due to post-holidays (and general all-around “I have a mortgage now, what’s that about”) poverty, I can’t really afford tickets. BUT, Laughing Skull is giving free ones to the winner of their caption contest. Person with the most likes wins.
CAPTION DISCLAIMER: I’m usually better at captions.
I dunno what radio station Ted Williams will end up working for, but I hope it’s one that plays Daniel Mustard.
Gwyneth Paltrow hosting SNL January 15
-saturdaynightlive:
Gwyneth Paltrow will host SNL January 15 with musical guest Cee-Lo Green. Yesterday, rumours had circulated that the pair would appear on this weekend’s SNL, but this makes a lot more sense.
[via]
Fuck You.
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