whineandbeer:

tarynaria:

gyzym:

amazonziti:

waxjism:

jackdaws-pocketbook:

For some reason, I don’t find this funny. Lack of sense of humor, most likely.

Humourous observations have to actually be true to be funny.

Who is this person, though? I’m sure a group of women could successfully band together to humiliate him in some suitable way.

Ah yes. Because every time you make dudes hang out together it turns out perfectly. Like — for a random and extremely scientific heist movie example — in The Italian Job, where a member of the team that everyone liked and trusted betrayed them and killed their leader in like the first 15 minutes of the movie, IDK. And what is he talking about like passive-aggressive trash-talk is the sole purview of women? In Ocean’s that’s what Scott Caan and Casey Affleck were FOR.

I feel SO STRONGLY that one of the main reasons lies like this ever turn out to be true is BECAUSE people tell lies like this. You know? Like, I have had some legit miserable experiences in all-girl situations (middle school), but. I have been told — haven’t you been told? — over and over again that girls will turn on each other, and girls are the worst, and girls are such backstabbing poisonous bitchy traitors, and that the IDEAL situation for a girl who wants REAL friends is to be the only girl in a group of boys (like Charlize Theron in The Italian Job or Julia Roberts in the Oceans movies or Zoe Saldana in The Losers and Star Trek XI or Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers or Rutina Wesley in How She Move or Christine Taylor in Zoolander and Dodgeball).

I have been the one girl, usually the youngest person, in a group of slightly older boys, and it was honestly super-duper fun. But then, hanging out with a group of people who like you, no matter their sexes or genders, is by nature super-duper fun, and also it was kind of like being in a pile of sweaty smelly affectionate puppies all the time. So holler for that, I am always down for a puppy pile and being treated like I’m special. But the EDGE was that myth of exclusivity and being told I wasn’t like the other girls, which. Fuck that. I am SO SICK of experiences like that. Being the only girl in a group of boys, or the only black person in a group of white people, or the only queer person in a group of straight people, and being made to feel GOOD because you are less like what makes you you? Not like those other girls. Black on the outside but white on the inside. We’d never know you were gay if you didn’t tell us. COME THE FUCK ON. WHY IS THAT PRAISE.

AND all of that being said, I have had TOTALLY TRANSCENDENT experiences in female-dominated groups, in therapy and in fandom. Group therapy was all about people who don’t want to be there and don’t want to get to know each other overcoming that shit. (The number of times one of us said something like, ‘This is so weird, I normally HATE other girls, but—’) And LET ME TELL YOU if anybody could rock a fucking heist it would be fandom. The women who plan and execute conventions could sure as shit find a way to fake an earthquake and make it work.

So fuck you, dude in this gif whose name I don’t care to find out. If me and my ladyfriends want to run a con we’ll run a goddamn con. Who will be the Clooney to my Pitt?

I VOLUNTEER TO BE CLOONEY, I VOLUNTEER, I VOLUNTEEEEEEEEER

Seriously, though, just—all of this. All of this so hard. 

God DAMMIT John Mulaney. Not cool. Not cool at all.

I was listening to one of his standup albums the other day and this was on it, and I was not amused. Of course it was sandwiched between funny things, but it was enough to put a bad taste in my mouth and kind of spoiled the album for me.

If you are going to be my friend, we are going to “theoretically” discuss art heists at some point. It’s just a thing. Everyone likes art heists. Except maybe Interpol or something, but even they probably enjoy catching crooks.

This is literally the first time I have never seen a negative word directed toward John Mulaney. Guys, this is a pretty innocent bit that makes up a small part of a brilliantly funny act from a very talented comic. There are about 70 million more worthy targets of your anger (like this fucking asshole). If you “don’t care to find out” John Mulaney’s name (it’s “John Mulaney,” by the way), you’re the one missing out.

(Source: sarahxmay)