http://welcometothisblogbitch.tumblr.com/

"I know guys like this Mike. He used to be a nerd, and now he’s a meathead."

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:24:00 -0500

“I know guys like this Mike. He used to be a nerd, and now he’s a meathead.” -...

fittythebone: One if the greatest opening scenes I’ve ever...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:01:00 -0500

One if the greatest opening scenes I’ve ever seen:

Raving Bitch: Hey dickless, get off the fucking car! Hey fucksuck, get your slippery fucking ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the fucking car with your fucking ass!
Parker: Shut that cunt’s mouth or I’ll come over there and fuck-start her head!
Raving Bitch: You’re gonna wish you never fucking got up this fucking morning asshole, because my boyfriend’s gonna fuck you up! And then after that, while he’s fucking up your fucking gay uncle over there I’m gonna fucking cut off your cock and mail it to your mother, you fucking faggot bitch! You gaylord fucking bitch! How do you like that? You like that a lot you fucking faggot? You like to ass fuck? Fontanella fucking babyheads! You like to fuck babyheads? You like to fuck boys? He’s gonna fuck you in the ass, how do you like that? He’s not even gay but he’ll do it just to fuck…
Boyfriend: Honey honey. She’s got a big mouth but she’s not kidding. I’m gonna whip you silly and I’m gonna fuck you stupid. You wanna do the man dance? First dance is yours.

This sequence, the low-speed chase scene and the shootout have been etched into my mind forever.

I always kind of assumed time would turn this into a cult classic, yet the number of people who appreciate it today still seems to be stuck at about 78.

And that’s a shame. Because this is the movie Boondock Saints wants to be when it grows up.

AT&T to Urge Wireless Customers To Use Less Data

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:24:24 -0500

AT&T to Urge Wireless Customers To Use Less Data: fittythebone: bullshit: Ben Ryan To Urge...

Like I was saying the other night, this new special from Disney...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:48:11 -0500

Like I was saying the other night, this new special from Disney really impressed me. The characters are charming, the animation is crisp and vibrant, the story is fun and, most importantly of all, it legit made us laugh out loud more than once.

The next time you have 22 spare minutes, apply them here.

Note to Fox News: It’s probably unwise to point out irony...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 10:19:00 -0500

Note to Fox News: It’s probably unwise to point out irony when your own front page is literally one giant example of it.

What the eff is up with this Top Chef finale challenge!?!

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:46:37 -0500

jheath: The instructions for the last challenge is always just “Cook the best meal of your life.”...

Did anyone else watch this after Charlie Brown tonight? I loved...

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:32:34 -0500

Did anyone else watch this after Charlie Brown tonight? I loved it. John Lasseter is really whipping the House of Mouse back into shape.

INTERNET FIGHT! THE OATMEAL SLAMS COLLEGEHUMOR!!

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:03:00 -0500

INTERNET FIGHT! THE OATMEAL SLAMS COLLEGEHUMOR!!: (via kevinslane) Yeesh. Awkward. The resemblance...

If you watched The Colbert Report tonight and happened to think this guy was super talented, you...

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:45:26 -0500

If you watched The Colbert Report tonight and happened to think this guy was super talented, you...

And then I started following Doug Benson.

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:26:01 -0500

And then I started following Doug Benson.

thedailywhat: xkcd. Several commenters on Digg have pointed...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:30:18 -0500

thedailywhat:

xkcd.

Several commenters on Digg have pointed out that this comic bears a similarity or two to my CollegeHumor article from last week, and I’d just like to say that:

1.) It’s different enough that I read it without being the least bit suspicious. (Except, on an unrelated note, of people with glasses. I just don’t trust them.)

2.) I doubt Randall Monroe is a frequent CH visitor. (And if he is, you know he’s just there for the boobs.)

3.) I’m honored to even be mentioned in the same sentence.

4.) I’m doubly honored to have actually beaten xkcd to a joke for once. Seriously — it’s the Simpsons of web comics.

For my money (which, at the time I first decided this, was a $5...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 10:57:52 -0500

For my money (which, at the time I first decided this, was a $5 allowance), no one draws a dinosaur better than Bill Watterson.

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 19:44:00 -0500

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

My Favorite Christmas Movies, You Ask?

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 15:53:15 -0500

And yes,

"It smells like a wet mop in here, and I get the feeling that every single one of these women is..."

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 22:50:00 -0500

“It smells like a wet mop in here, and I get the feeling that every single one of these women...

I so very much want this Dinosaur-themed restaurant on Parks and Rec to be a real place.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:44:52 -0500

susannawolff: On the roommate compatibility form I had to fill...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:44:00 -0500

susannawolff:

On the roommate compatibility form I had to fill out when I started college, I had to write what kind of music I like. I answered, Christmas music. There are two things you should deduce from this: 1) I know a thing or two about Christmas music. 2) I was not assigned a roommate.

Here’s one of my favorite Christmas songs of all time off of, hands down, the greatest Christmas album ever, Phil Spector’s “A Christmas Gift For You.” Who says making great Christmas music and shooting a lady in the face are mutually exclusive? That’s right: no one says that.

My favorite Christmas song of all time is whichever song from this album I happen to be listening to when you ask me. Every single one of them is gold.

Wall of Sound + Darlene Love/The Ronettes + Christmas = Fucking Heaven.

frictionlesssuperfeet: Olivia Olson All I Want for Christmas is...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:26:57 -0500

frictionlesssuperfeet:

Olivia Olson All I Want for Christmas is You (Mariah Carey)

While this version is not the best ever recorded, it is the best recording (possibly of any song ever) by a ten-year-old. Plus, it’s from Love Actually, which all girls are legally required to love…actually.

From Wikipedia:

“According to director Richard Curtis’ commentary in the music section of the Love Actually DVD, Olson’s singing was so perfect, they were afraid the audience would not believe that a ten-year-old could really sing the way she did. They had to train her so that her singing would sound more believable.”

Personally, I suspect she’s a midget.

"The white of my egg was a little colorless."

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 01:50:00 -0500

“The white of my egg was a little colorless.” - Padma, providing a critique during the...

There is absolutely nothing to drink in my office today...

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:11:47 -0500

…so I just took a cup of tap water and poured into it some lemon juice that I found in the...